Marriage, the All-Natural Aid to Maintain Purity

You must know also that [marriage] is not only an honorable, but also a necessary state.  In general and in all conditions it is solemnly commanded by God that men and women, who were created for it, shall be found in this estate.  Yet there are some exceptions (although few) whom God has especially set apart, as not fit for the married estate, or whom He has released by a high, supernatural gift that they can maintain chastity without this estate.  For where nature has its course, as it is implanted by God, it is not possible to remain chaste without marriage.  For flesh and blood remain flesh and blood, and the natural inclination and excitement have their course without delay or hindrance, as everybody sees and feels.  In order, therefore, that it may be the more easy in some degree to avoid inchastity, God has commanded the estate of matrimony, that every one may have his proper portion and be satisfied with it.  Yet God's grace is also required in order that the heart may be pure.

Martin Luther, Large Catechism: Ten Commandments 211-212

Redirecting Feminine Ire

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.  (Ephesians 5:25)

Men's Network has a short post on how to stop your wife from nagging—listen to her.  It's common sense stuff, really.  Here are the money points:

Listening involves a few easy steps:

1.  Look at her.  Maintain eye contact.  Let nothing distract you.  I repeat: let nothing distract you.
2.  Do not judge, dismiss, belittle.  Let her speak and finish what she has to say.
3.  Restate what she says or asks.  Be clear on what is being said or requested.
4.  Follow through with what you said you would do.

Many men will look at this and walk off in a huff like Naaman, when Elisha told him to wash seven times in the Jordan River (2 Kings 5:11-12).  He was willing to do something great for healing, but not what required humility.  Thankfully, his servants recognized this and convinced him to submit in this matter (2 Kings 5:13).

My opening verse is one example that Paul gives of what it means to submit to one another.  Men submit to their wives by setting aside self-gratifying or self-promoting solutions so that her emotional and spiritual needs are met.   It's a tough job, but the Lord has equipped men for that task, whether or not they realize it.

Fourth Century Wedding Planner

When you prepare for the wedding, don't run to your neighbors' houses borrowing extra mirrors, or spend endless hours worrying about dresses.  A wedding is not a pageant or a theatrical performance.  Instead, make your house as beautiful as you can, and then invite your family and your neighbors and friends.  Invite as many people as you know that have good character, and they will be content with what you set before them.  Don't hire bands or orchestras; such an expense is excessive and unbecoming.  Before anything else, invite Christ.  Do you know how to invite him?  "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers," he said, "you do to me."  Don't think that it is annoying to invite the poor for Christ's sake.  Don't adorn the bride with gold ornaments, but dress her modestly.  Thus from the beginning of her married life she will shun excess.  Let there be no disorderly uproar.  When everything is ready, call the bridegroom to receive the virgin.  Let there be no drunkenness at the banquets and suppers, but an abundance of spiritual joy.  Think of the many good things that will result from weddings like this!


John Chrysostom,"Homily 12: On Colossians 4:18," On Marriage and Family Life, (Crestwood:SVS Press, 1986), 79.

A Pastoral Response to Same-Sex Marriage

Jonathan Fisk, pastor of St. John Evangelical Lutheran Church in Springfield, PA, has posted a video in which he gives one of the best pastoral responses to a question of same-sex marriage from a woman in that lifestyle.  Brother Fisk edits in a choppy style much like music videos, and I believe this is intentional, understanding that the teenagers and young adults who need the instruction in a format to which they are accustomed.  If you find it distracting, then just listen.

How Husbands Should Treat Their Wives

Whenever you give your wife advice, always begin by telling her how much you love her.  Nothing will persuade her so well to admit the wisdom of your words as her assurance that you are speaking to her with sincere affection.  Tell her that you are convinced that money is not important, that only thieves thirst for it constantly, that you love her more than gold; and indeed an intelligent, discreet, and pious young woman is worth more than all the money in the world.  Tell her that you love her more than your own life, because this present life is nothing, and that your only help is that the two of you pass through this life in such a way that in the world to come you will be united in perfect love.…Show her that you value her company, and prefer being at home to being out.  Esteem her in the presence of your friends and children.  Praise and show admiration for her good acts; and if she ever does anything foolish, advise her patiently.…Remind one another that nothing in life is to be feared, except offending God.

John Chrysostom,"Homily 20: On Ephesians 5:22-23," On Marriage and Family Life, (Crestwood:SVS Press, 1986), 60.

Superwoman

One of the men in my Bible study is, among other things, a good father to four boys.  I was touched by his Facebook status going on about how he

is married to Super Woman!!! (for example: the other day she gets up early, runs 9 miles, then wakes us all up, feeds us breakfast, help runs a home-school co-op, feeds my boys lunch, homeschools my boys, wrestles with a moyer-like toddler (don't know what that is - watch Veggie Tales), has time to buy her friend a birthday present, cleans up the house before i get home, and feeds us all dinner) she's amazing!!!

He was wrong about one thing though.  She actually ran 11 miles that day.  Still, that is how to build up your wife.  Take notes, gentlemen.

Her children rise up and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:

"Many women have done excellently,

but you surpass them all."

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Give her of the fruit of her hands,

and let her works praise her in the gates.

Proverbs 31:28-31